You're Dating Her?
by Freedom Fighter
Summary: Candace thinks that Jeremy and Stacy are dating each other, behind her back, so she tries to chase them down to learn the truth! Meanwhile, Perry tries to stop Doofenshmirtz from destroying a restaurant that has it in for him. Three-part mini-series!
1. Part One of Three

_[Prologue]_

One sunny afternoon, late in the summer...

"But..."

At the Flynn-Fletcher house in the suburbs of Danville...

"But..."

Inside Candace's room, where the redhead was talking on her cell phone. Or, rather, begging for forgiveness. But from whom?

"But..."

"I'm **TIRED** of you blowing me off, Candace!"

"But Stacy..."

"Stop with the 'buts!' You sound like a broken record! Whatever a record is..."

"You **HAVE** to let me make it up to you!" Candace pleaded to her best friend. "Please!"

"That's what you told me yesterday! And the day before that **AND** the day before that!"

Stacy took a deep breath, as she fought within herself to keep her composure and avoid saying something she would regret later.

"Look. I understand that you want to bust your brothers - kinda - and I understand that you want some alone time with Jeremy! But you want both of that to happen 24-7-365! Where's my time, Candace? As your best friend, shouldn't I get as much as attention as them?"

"Well, yeah..."

"Good. Then tomorrow, you and me! My house! No cell phones, no busting your brothers, no Jeremy! Just you and me! That's it! Promise?"

Candace breathed a sigh of relief. Despite how riled up Stacy had sounded, she had gotten off rather easy.

"Promise. Cross my heart and hope to... well, you know the rest!"

* * *

><p>The next day, at the Hirano house, a cell phone could be heard ringing. Stacy had a scowl on her face as she reached down onto her desk and checked the caller ID to see who it was. It was Candace. She answered it and immediately heard her friend's voice.<p>

"Stacy! I really, really, really, **REALLY...**"

"That's it, Candace! I won't stand for this! Our friendship is **OVER**! **AGAIN!**"

With that, Stacy pressed the 'End Call' button on her keypad.

* * *

><p>"Stacy? <strong>STACY!<strong>"

Candace began to worry. Her best friend had surely not just broken up with her. Again! Right?

"**WOO HOO!**" yelled Phineas, as he, riding an actual cow, rode in front of and past Candace.

"What the..." she gasped, noticing that her brother was wearing a maid uniform - as was the cow he was the riding. "Stacy can wait... **PHINEAS! YOU'RE SO BUSTED!**"

With that, Candace ran off after Phineas.

* * *

><p><strong>You're Dating Her?, Part 1 (09.26.11)<strong>  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

So here's a new three-part "Phineas and Ferb" mini-series. And finally, I get around to doing one starring Candace! As well as Jeremy and Stacy, both of whom have not appeared that much in my stories. This is a fun little tale I hope you'll all really enjoy!

This story is also written in the three-plot format of the show, but it's more like two-and-a-half. Phineas and Ferb themselves do appear, but not much and have very little bearing on the plot. So it's mostly Candace antics crossed with some Perry-Doofenshmirtz fun.

Here's part one! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney.

**Recommended, But Not Required, Before Reading This (This story takes place after these events):**  
>- Watch the following episodes: "The Lizard Whisperer," "The Lemonade Stand," "Canderemy," and "My Fair Goalie."<br>- Read the three stories in my 'Vanessa's Moral Wars' trilogy.

* * *

><p>Two days later, at the Googolplex Mall...<p>

Candace and Stacy were walking towards the Food Court. The latter was leading the way, with a displeased frown on her face, while the former walked right behind her, again reduced to begging in order to save their friendship.

"C'mon, Stacy! The least you could do is hear me out!"

"I haven't stomped off in anger yet. Isn't that enough?"

Candace reached forward and grabbed Stacy's left arm with both of her hands. That act had forced the black-haired girl to stop where she was, unable to continue on until Candace had released her.

"I wanna spend time with you, Stace, I really do! What's it gonna take to get you to forgive me?"

"Well," Stacy thought out loud, "there is this pair of Johnny Koos that I saw the other day..."

"**FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR SHOES?** That's, like, five hundred dollars more than I have!"

"Okay, okay," Stacy gestured that she had been kidding. "I'll settle for giving you one last chance. Provided you spend as much time each day with me as you do your brothers or Jeremy!"

"Deal!" Candace hastily agreed, as she shook Stacy's arm up and down.

Candace let go of Stacy, and she responded by wrapping her arms around the redhead and embracing her in a hug.

"I'm glad we're friends again! And we get to spend time together! Just you and me, me and you..."

"Hey, girls!" exclaimed Jeremy, who walked up behind Stacy.

"And... Jeremy," deadpanned Stacy.

Stacy had just realized that Candace had stopped her in front of Mr. Slushy Dawg - whether by accident or by design, she did not know. That was until Candace broke out of the hug, sprinted over to the counter, and leaned over it, her eyes already lost in Jeremy's as he eyed her boyfriend, dressed in his uniform.

"Hi, Jeremy!" cheerfully greeted Candace.

"Candace! Just the girl I wanted to see!"

"Shhh!" Candace shushed him, putting a finger over his mouth. "Just one sec."

Candace started marching through the Food Court area, searching for any teenage girl whom she thought was more attractive than she was, with the intention of chasing them away. She quickly found a group of three girls, all blondes, sitting at the same table.

"This table's taken!" Candace shouted at them, as she slammed her hands down on the table, palms first.

"Huh?" one of the girls looked quizzically at her.

"You're not wanted here! Or there! Or... anywhere in the Food Court! **ESPECIALLY WHEN MY JEREMY'S HERE!**"

The girls looked at each other, then back at Candace. The same girl who spoke a few second again did so again.

"Who's Jeremy?"

It sounded like an innocent question. But Candace perceived it as a threat against her. She picked up the girl's drink, removed the lid, and then dumped it over said blonde's head. Candace then roared as loud as a tyrannosaurus rex, and that was more than enough to get the three teenagers to jump out of their seats and run for their lives, leaving what was left of their lunch spread out on the table. As Candace chased after them to make sure they did not have any thoughts about coming back, Jeremy and Stacy just stood there, confused and upset, respectively, over Candace's behavior.

"Am I missing something?" Jeremy asked Stacy, as he scratched the top of his diamond-shaped hat.

"You tell me," grumbled Stacy. "She spends more time with you."

"Yeah, but... lately, I only see her in person when I'm working. And all she does while she's here is... well, this."

They observed as Candace ran from their right to their left, to the other side of the Food Court, where there was a fourth blonde teenage girl enjoying lunch.

"Another blonde bombshell?" she screeched. "**NOT IN MY BOYFRIEND'S FOOD COURT!**"

"Y'know," Jeremy continued, as Stacy listened, "at first I thought it was... girl stuff, if you know what I mean. But this has been going on for almost three weeks now."

"Wow," gasped Stacy in shock. "That's one more than two. Something must be troubling her."

"I'll say. It's like she won't let any girl within 500 feet of me! Well, except you."

Stacy rolled her eyes, then laughed.

"You and me? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Ha!"

Jeremy also laughed.

"Yeah. Sounds like one of those in-a-million-years deals."

"Try one-in-a-billion! Besides, I'd never, **EVER,** come between you and Candace. You two are made for each other."

"That's true, but..."

"**CANDACE! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?**"

Jeremy and Stacy watched in stunned silence as Candace pushed her own mother, of all people, out of the Food Court.

"March!" ordered Candace.

"We're gonna have a serious talk when I get home, young lady!" Linda exclaimed.

"Lately," Jeremy resumed, albeit hesitantly, "she's spending too much time shooing people away rather than spending time watching me. I can't believe I'm saying this... but I liked it better when she spent all day hiding in the bushes and watching me from afar!"

"If Candace asks," Stacy interrupted, "I was not the one who told you that."

"We need to find a way to get Candace to stop worrying about other girls trying to whisk me away from her **AND** show her she can be just as effective by just being around me as much as possible."

"And maybe if she's back to her normal self, she'll remember to spend some time hanging out with me without me having to threaten to end our friendship every other week."

Both Jeremy and Stacy began to think, rubbing their respective chins in unison as they attempted to come up with a solution to their common problem. Suddenly, they got an idea, and they looked at each other and shouted...

"I know what we're gonna do today!"

They looked at each other, wondering if they had come up with the same idea. Stacy then said out loud...

"You think I could borrow 500 bucks?"

Jeremy blinked, not knowing why Stacy would ask that. The Japanese girl seemed stumped by Jeremy's odd reaction.

"What? You can say I'd look good in Johnny Koos. I won't tell."

Jeremy shook his head, then leaned over the counter and whispered the idea he had come up into Stacy's ear. He was barely a sentence into his explanation when Stacy's facial expression changed to one signifying an 'Oh!' look.

* * *

><p>Three days later...<p>

Candace was sitting at her desk in her room. It was just after ten on a Saturday morning, and she had already freshened up and gotten into her day clothes. She had not had breakfast yet, but that was only because she was waiting for Stacy to call.

"Hmmmm..."

But Stacy was supposed to call half an hour ago. The plan was for Stacy to come over and eat breakfast at Candace's house before the two teens would head out for a day of fun.

"It's not like Stacy to sleep in."

Candace pulled out her cell and dialed Stacy's number. To her surprise, she got a busy signal.

"That's odd. Stacy **NEVER** has a busy signal! Whom else does she talk to on the phone other than me?"

She thought about it for a minute. Jenny was a possibility, but she and Stacy hardly ever talked to each other over the phone unless they were in a three-way conversation with Candace. There was also a chance she could be chatting with Coltrane, but it had been awhile since the couple were 'in to each other.' Naturally, there was no way it could be Jeremy. They rarely talk with one another at all.

Candace was stumped, and she was not willing to sit around and wait for the answer to hit her in the head. Or anything...

It was then that she realized that things were quiet. Too suspiciously quiet.

"**MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**"

Candace ran out of her room, down the stairs, and to the kitchen. She found her mom currently rummaging through the cabinets as she was in the process of making a shopping list for a supermarket trip.

"**MOM!** Do you know where Phineas and Ferb are?"

"Don't you remember?" Linda replied, continuing what she was doing and not looking at her daughter as she talked. "They're getting a check-up!"

* * *

><p>Phineas was sitting on the grass while Isabella knelt before him, her legs straddling his left leg. She was dressed in an all-white nurses' uniform, complete with a skirt long enough to touch Phineas' leg. She also had a stethoscope in hand, of which she currently had the chest piece firmly pressed over Phineas' heart.<p>

"So," Isabella smirked, "how you feelin'?"

Isabella gasped immediately afterwards, as she was slightly startled upon hearing the sound of Phineas' heart beating in her ears. While all this was going on, Ferb was squatting down on the other side of Phineas, because he was simultaneously measuring his brother's blood pressure - which he was doing by wrapping an inflatable cuff around Phineas' right arm, which was attached to an electric sphygmomanometer. He had a surprised look when he saw that the blood pressure numbers were abnormally high. Ferb thought about taking into account how Phineas was feeling with Isabella so close to him.

But he thought better of suspecting that, and banged his right fist on the top of the machine. Instantly, it reset, and suddenly was displaying relatively normal, healthy numbers.

"That's a relief," he commented, before adding. "I think."

* * *

><p>"No," Linda quickly corrected Candace. "I mean a check-up with an <strong>ACTUAL<strong> doctor!"

Candace was mystified. "How did you..."

"That reminds me. I need to schedule one for you, too. You are at **THAT** age, you know."

"**MOM!**"

"Well, you are!"

"Whatever. I'm heading out for my girls' day with Stace! Later!"

Candace did an about face and walked out of the kitchen.

"Hmmmm..." Linda thought out loud. "Speaking of family members who need check-ups, where's Perry? The vet doesn't have any openings for another month."

* * *

><p>Where was Perry? Already sitting in his chair in his lair, ready to get his briefing from Major Monogram.<p>

"Good morning, Agent P!" the Major greeted. "As usual, Doofenshmirtz is up to no good! Through the magic of wire-tapping, we intercepted a phone call from him a few minutes ago!"

Perry listened as Monogram played back the recording. The first voice he heard was not his nemesis, but a woman's voice instead.

"Thanks for calling The Dan Marsh, this is Stella. How may I help you?"

Then Doofenshmirtz spoke next.

"Ah, yes, Stella. My name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and I would like to cancel my reservation for tonight."

"You **DO** realize that you are still responsible for paying the full meal. Our cancellation policy, as specified in the contract you signed when making the reservation, that anyone cancelling within 24 hours of their scheduled seating must pay the full price, except for any type of emergency that would prevent you from keeping it."

"But, I do! Wait, hold on..."

Some weird noises could be heard in the background. A few seconds later, Doofenshmirtz started talking again.

"There! I have a broken leg!"

The line was silent for a few seconds. Then...

"I don't believe you," deadpanned Stella.

"But it **IS**! You want me to walk down there and show you it?"

"How can you walk 12 blocks if your leg is broken?"

"People do that! People... do... that."

"Your card's going to be charged full price, whether you show or not, sir!"

"Yeah? We'll just see about that!"

The recording ended at that point. Perry was rolling his eyes, wondering how this qualified as an evil act.

"I know it sounds like a idle threat," Monogram assured Perry, "but Doofenshmirtz is always a threat to peace and stability!"

"But," Carl spoke up from off-screen, "he's never idle!"

"Carl, that's not the point! Look, Agent P. The Dan Marsh is the trendiest restaurant in the Tri-State Area right now, and its presence is doing wonders for the local economy! If Doofenshmirtz does what we think he might do, the financial stability of that entire neighborhood could be in jeopardy! Put a stop to his latest scheme, and if you can, try to bargain the maitre'd to bump my reservation there up a week! I forgot the misses' birthday is next week, and I wanna treat her with something special!"

"Left the seat up again, sir?" joked Carl.

"**WHAT?**" Monogram shouted, genuinely surprised. "Who told you that?"

"No one did, sir!"

"Was it Agent A? He's such a tattletale!"

As Monogram tried to pry an answer from his intern that did not exist, Agent P took this opportunity to sneak out and head out on his mission.

* * *

><p>Candace was riding her bike down the street, on her way to Stacy's house. Once she got there, she hopped off her bike right at the mailbox and proceeded up the sidewalk to the front door. She rang the doorbell, and it was answered almost immediately by Dr. Hirano, Stacy's mother.<p>

"Hello, Candace!"

"Hi, Dr. Hirano! Is Stacy around?"

"Ooh, you just missed her! But I swear she said she was leaving to spend the day with you!"

"Do you know where she went?"

"She said something about going to the Art Traders' Fair. It's nice to see her at something so culturally stimulating, for once."

"Thanks!"

Candace ran back to her bicycle and headed off to the Art Traders' Fair.

"That's funny," she thought aloud, "Stacy and I weren't planning to go there. What's going on?"

She pulled out her phone and used speed dial to quickly connect to Stacy's number. This time, Candace heard the phone ringing.

"Yes, **YES!**"

And then stop without warning after the second ring.

"Huh?"

Candace stopped, then pressed the redial button. She heard the call connect, and the phone ringing. In the midst of the second ring, it stopped. Candace expected to hear Stacy's voice next, but instead, she heard a click, and then the line going dead.

"What? Did... did she just hang up on me?"

Outraged, Candace dialed Stacy a third time. Again, Stacy picked up in the midst of the second ring. But the second that happened, Candace... hung up on Stacy!

"Ha! No one hangs up on Candace Flynn! **NO ONE! A-HA HA HA HA!**"

She seemed to take much joy in getting revenge, but a few seconds later slapped herself in the forehead as she remembered the reason she was calling Stacy in the first place!

"One more time..."

Candace pressed redial once more. But this time, it just went straight to voicemail...

"Stacy here! If you're hearing this, I either can't come to the phone right now, or I'm trying to ignore you! Wait... did I say that out lou-"

She was then cut off by a loud beep, signifying that Candace could begin leaving her message.

"I know you're there, Stacy! Pick up, pick up, **PICK UP!**"

When Stacy did not pick up, Candace hung up, then finally resorted to text messaging.

"I am not leaving this spot until you text me back!" Candace read aloud as she typed.

She pressed 'send,' and then the waiting began...

* * *

><p>10 minutes later...<p>

"Oh, that is **IT**!"

Candace started pedaling again, after having not received a reply from Stacy.

"She is **NOT** allowed to skip out on our girls' day out! Especially after I'm trying to make up for all the times I bailed on her! Oh, she is going to have a **LOT** to answer for when I find her!"

* * *

><p>Candace arrived at the Art' Traders Fair. She parked her bicycle by propping it against a nearby signpost, then began her search for her best friend on foot. It did not take Candace long to spot Stacy's familiar blue hair bow.<p>

"There you are!" Candace growled under her breath.

She took a step forward, and stopped upon being interrupted by the sound of a man shouting through a megaphone nearby.

"**THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO SIGN-UP FOR OUR DRAWING! IF YOUR NAME IS PICKED, YOU WILL GET A SELF-PORTRAIT PAINTED BY DANVILLE'S OWN BEPPO BROWN!**"

"Wait, who?" asked Candace.

Before she knew it, though, Candace got caught up in a stampede of people running to enter the drawing.

"**AAAAAAHHHHHH!**"

A few seconds later, Candace came out the other end of the mass of flesh, her auburn hair in disarray and assorted specs of dirt present on her blouse and skirt. She took the time to fix her appearance before glancing over to where she had seen Stacy moments ago.

But she was no longer there.

Determined to get to the bottom of Stacy's odd behavior, Candace took off in that direction. She got to where Stacy had been standing and turned the corner. Once she did, she stopped dead in her tracks once again... but this time, because of what she was seeing.

"**O... M... G...**"

She saw Stacy sitting on a stool, cross-legged. Sitting next to her, backwards on a wooden chair, was Jeremy, who had his head resting on top of the backrest. They were both staring in the direction of a caricature artist, who happened to be painting them at that moment.

Candace hid around the corner of the stand she was standing next to, sticking her head out just enough to see Jeremy and Stacy, and make some observations about them. First, she glanced towards her best friend...

"Okay, Stacy's bow is lopsided, leaning slightly towards Jeremy..."

She then noted something off about her boyfriend...

"Jeremy's cargo shorts stop at his knees, instead of halfway down to his ankles..."

But the oddest thing of all to her was...

"Are... are they interlocking **PINKIES**?"

Sure enough, Jeremy's right pinky finger was wrapped around Stacy's left pinky finger.

"Now I know why Stacy's been avoiding me today! She's been with Jeremy all day!"

Candace gasped, grasping the reality of why her boyfriend and her best friend would be together without her.

"She's been with Jeremy all day? That means... **JEREMY AND STACY ARE ON A DATE?**"

**To be continued...**


	2. Part Two of Three

**You're Dating Her?, Part 2 (10.03.11)**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

So the main premise (Candace/Jeremy/Stacy) is now set up. In the second installment, the B-plot (Perry & Doofenshmirtz) will get its stage set, while Phineas and Ferb play a part in building up the Candace plot to next week's hilarious conclusion!

So, without further ado... here's part two!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney.

* * *

><p>Candace was confused and distraught over the situation unfolding before her. The fact that her boyfriend, Jeremy, and her best friend, Stacy, were hanging out together without her led her to conclude one thing.<p>

"**JEREMY AND STACY ARE ON A DATE?**"

She then heard someone playing a kettledrum nearby, pounding it in a two-note, ominous reveal. She frowned as she turned towards the player himself... Irving. He stopped upon seeing Candace glaring at him.

"What? You can't me expect me to get one of these finally and **NOT** use it!"

Candace shook her head and rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to Jeremy and Stacy.

"I can't believe Stacy would steal Jeremy from me! And right under my nose! You think I would've seen this coming!"

Candace then remembered what happened at the mall three days ago, as Jeremy and Stacy were chatting while she was off shooing away all the females.

"Funny, I thought I dreamed that! But never mind! Time to bust them!"

She then paused, as another quandary popped in her head.

"Hold up! Who do I bust? Stacy for stealing Jeremy from me behind my back, or Jeremy for two-timing me? Can I bust them both?"

As she tried to figure out the answer to that...

* * *

><p><strong>DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!<strong>

"I need gas!"

"I filled you up yesterday, you petroleum pachyderm!"

Doctor Doofenshmirtz was talking to Norm, who had transformed into his pickup truck form. Norm was parked on the curb in front of the building, this time making sure to not be in a 'no loading' zone.

"Look! I have to run a few errands, pick up Vanessa from her friend's house, take her home, and then go to that darn restaurant and **DEMAND** those philistines **NOT** charge for eating there tonight. I mean, who **DOES** that?"

Suddenly, without warning, Doofenshmirtz was kicked in the face by a webbed foot. One that could only belong to the one and only... **PER-RY!**

"**PERRY THE PLATYPUS!**" screamed the evil scientist as he rubbed the cheek that Perry had hit him in. "What are you doing here?"

Agent P pulled out a flyer for 'The Dan Marsh.'

"Oh... you heard what happened, huh? They have the audacity to charge me for a full meal even though I can't make it! My blind date cancelled on me first thing this morning. Apparently, someone told her what I do for a living!"

He then stared at Norm, who responded by saying...

"Honesty is always the best policy!"

"Did someone put a 'good guy' chip in you when I wasn't looking? Because I didn't approve of that! Ugh... anyway, Perry the Platypus, I couldn't find anyone to sub in for my date, so I thought there was no point into going to a 20-course, 125-dollar meal by myself! But they said 'no, your contract says any cancellations within 24 hours of the scheduled reservation are non-refundable!' That's highway robbery, I tell you!"

Doofenshmirtz took a deep, calming breath, then continued.

"Anyway, I haven't decided how I'm going to get revenge on them yet! I know it involves marching through their front door, but after that... I haven't thought that far ahead yet. Maybe I'll make some sort of scene, badmouthing their establishment in front of all their other customers! Or drop dead flies in people's soup so they'll complain to their waiters and ask them, 'why's there a fly in my soup, and don't say he's doing the backstroke!' Or maybe, just maybe, I'll just level the place!"

That last suggestion got Perry's attention, as his eyes bulged wide open in shock.

"**YES!** Maybe I'll create a Level-inator! You know, to level the place. And by level the place, I mean, flatten it into the ground, not even out the roof so the bumps are leveled out. But you probably already figured that out, so, I guess I didn't need to clarify the meaning of my words..."

Perry jumped into the air, intending to deliver another flying kick to his nemesis' face. But instead, he ended up soaring right into an open cardboard box, which Doofenshmirtz quickly closed the lid on and taped shut before Perry realized what was going on.

"**A-HA!** Gotcha, Perry the Platypus! I was waiting for you to do that!"

Inside the box, Perry attempted to punch and kick his way out. But Doofenshmirtz had reinforced all of the edges with several layers of tape.

"And to make it truly evil," Doofenshmirtz continued. "I purposely **DIDN'T** put air holes in it! So good luck surviving until you arrive where you're supposed to go."

The evil scientist slapped on a label, on which the written destination listed on it was 'Farthest Place from here in the U.S.' He then handed the box to the postman, who just so happened to be passing by on his Saturday route at that very moment. The mailman then hopped back in his delivery van, tossed the package in the back, and drove off.

"I got rid of my nemesis **AND** I'm helping out the Postal Service! I feel really good about today!"

"But wouldn't helping them out be a good act?" questioned Norm. "Did someone put a 'good guy' chip in you when I wasn't looking?"

"No! Shut up!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back with Candace...<p>

"...so if I put that there, and carry the four, then multiply that by the result of the circumference of the Earth divided by my dress size... **A-HA!** The optimal busting order is Ferb, **THEN** Phineas! I can't believe it took me so long to figure that out!"

Candace stepped back and beheld her work, as her calculations were scatted over a chalkboard on wheels, with equations and numbers all over the place, ending in the lower right-hand corner with chalk drawings of her brothers' heads. Phineas had a '2' above his head, while Ferb had a '1' above his.

"Whew!" she wiped the sweat off of her forehead in relief. "FINALLY! Now... what was I supposed to be doing?"

She looked back over to the caricature artist, but to her surprise, he was beginning to pack his things. As for Jeremy and Stacy, they were gone.

"**AAAAAHHHHH!**" Candace screamed in panic.

Candace ran over to the artist.

"Alright, you! Where'd they go?"

He turned to her and shrugged. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Jeremy and Stacy! Y'know, the cute blonde boy and the girl that stole him away from me!"

"Oh, you must mean the lovebirds..."

"**THEY AREN'T LOVEBIRDS! THEY AREN'T EVEN BIRDS OF ANY KIND! JUST TELL ME WHICH WAY THEY WENT!**"

"Um... towards the bus stop, I think..."

Candace pushed the artist aside and sprinted off in that direction.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Candace told herself.

As she caught sight of the bus stop, she saw a bus parked there close its doors and begin to pull away from the curb.

"No! No, no, no, no, no, no, **NOOOOOOOOOOO!**"

She stepped onto the street and tried to chase the bus down, but it was already speeding off and pulling into traffic.

"Oh, you two aren't getting away that easily. **TAXI!**"

Candace turned around to wave down a cab. Seconds later, one pulled to a stop in front of her. She leaned in the passenger's side window and told the driver...

"**HEY! FOLLOW THAT BUS!**"

The driver complied... perhaps a bit too quickly, as he stepped on the gas and sped off. Even before Candace could put a hand on the door handle to the back seat and get in.

"**THAT'S NOT FUNNY!**"

She then heard a car horn, which nearly scared her out of her socks. A second cab had stopped behind the first. This time, Candace made sure to get in before giving the driver the command.

"Okay. Follow **THAT** cab!"

Candace's cab took off, following the first cab, which was following the bus that she believed Jeremy and Stacy were on. Keeping her eyes glued towards and through the windshield, she waited for the bus to pull over and make its next stop. She did not have to wait long, only a block and a half, before the bus the pulled onto the shoulder and came to a stop. Both cabs stopped immediately afterwards.

"Here, **KEEP THE CHANGE!**" yelled Candace as she pulled out a five dollar bill, floated it to the driver, and then got out.

She bolted onto the sidewalk, then forward towards the front of the bus. Two old ladies were getting on, but no one was getting off. Candace believed she had Jeremy and Stacy. She just had to get on the bus. She rushed forward and stuck her left arm into the doorway, just in time for the doors to close right on it, just below her wrist. The bus driver reopened the doors, and Candace hopped in.

"Almost didn't see ya there," the female driver told Candace.

"Yeah, yeah..."

Candace pulled out another five dollar bill.

"Do you have change for a five?"

"Read the sign, miss!"

She pointed to the bill acceptor next to her. It read '$2 one-way fare. **EXACT CHANGE ONLY!**' Candace grumbled as she was forced to insert her $5 bill in, and then she headed back to the seating area. But she had no time to sulk over spending the last of the money in her pocket. She began to scan the bus for Jeremy and Stacy, even as the bus began moving again before she could find a seat on the nearly full bus.

Suddenly, she spotted a blond boy and a black-haired girl sitting in a seat together, both with their heads down and their hair facing the front of the bus.

"You're busted, you two!"

She marched over to them, and coughed as if she was clearing her throat in order to get their attention.

"I can't believe you two would do this to me! My boyfriend **AND** my best friend... **LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!**"

She grabbed Stacy by the collar and pulled her up so that she could see her face. Only... it was not Stacy. Sure, her hair was in the same style, she was Asian, and she was wearing an all-blue outfit. But 'Stacy' had wrinkled skin... and looked as if she was in her 70s.

"What's the meaning of this?" 'Stacy' asked.

'Jeremy' then looked up, and he too had the same blonde hairstyle, the same clothes, and the same mesmerizing smile. But he too, like 'Stacy,' appeared to be in his 70s.

"What you do touching my wife?" screeched 'Jeremy.' "Who taught you to roughhouse the elderly like that? Were you born in a barn?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Candace quickly bowed in apology. "I thought you were someone else!"

'Stacy' started whacking Candace with her suitcase-size purse in her left side, while 'Jeremy' took his cane and swung it at Candace's head! Thankfully, his aim was off enough that, despite his strong swing, he missed hitting Candace. But that was still enough to send the redhead screaming in fear and sprinting for the back of the bus. The two seniors let her go, feeling it was not worth the effort to give chase. 'Jeremy' settled for shaking his cane in a threatening manner to Candace.

"You kids today!"

Candace ran to the very back and dove into the last open seat, on the curb-side.

"I could've sworn..." Candace said, as she caught her breath and tried to take stock of her situation. "If Jeremy and Stacy didn't get on the bus, then... where did they go?"

But if she had managed to find a seat on the street-side, she would have seen a bus pass by going in the opposite direction. A bus carrying Jeremy and Stacy, sitting in a street-side seat.

"I can't believe we got on a bus going the wrong way!" chuckled Jeremy.

"I can't believe we went five blocks before we realized that!" Stacy giggled in return.

Meanwhile, back on the other bus...

"Ugh!" mumbled Candace as she put her hands over her head. "What am I going to do?"

Suddenly, she got an idea.

"I should call Phineas and Ferb and ask them what to do! It's so crazy, it just might work!"

She searched for Phineas' cell number in her phone's address book, then made the call...

* * *

><p>A few seconds later, Phineas answered his phone, as he and Ferb sat on an examination table at the doctor's office, with their legs dangling over the side.<p>

"Hi, Candace!" he said in greeting. "What's up?"

"Phineas! I need your help!"

* * *

><p>Back on the bus...<p>

"We're kinda preoccupied," Candace heard her brother tell her. "If you give us 10 minutes or so..."

"I don't need you physically! Just mentally! Look, I have a problem!"

"No offense, sis... but maybe you should ask **YOUR** doctor about that. Or Mom."

"I don't have the problem! Stacy does! As does Jeremy! They both have it! And I have a problem with that!"

"Um..."

Phineas seemed confused. Candace realized that she would have to explain the situation. But then she heard another voice speak up. One of a male, but not of Ferb. This was an older male's voice.

"Okay, boys... I need you to turn and cough!"

Candace heard one of the brothers cough almost instantaneously, and then the other suddenly break out in laughter.

"Ferb! I'm sure he asked me first!"

"Wait..." Candace said with suspicion, "are you guys **STILL** at the doctor's?"

A brief pause, and then she heard Ferb, not Phineas, answer her.

"Yes. Yes, we are."

Candace finally put two and two together, and shouted...

"**EEW!**"

"Well, you were the one who called us."

"**TMI**, Ferb, **TMI!** Look, I'll be there in 20! Don't leave 'til I get there!"

With that, Candace hung up. She then said, shuddering in disgust.

"That's **SO** not an image I want in my head!"

* * *

><p>Speaking of disgusted girls...<p>

"**DAD!**"

Doctor Doofenshmirtz had just arrived at a laundromat, where for some reason teenagers, including many of Vanessa's friends, were riding atop washing machines and racing them, four at a time. Vanessa, luckily, had been outside when her dad showed up, so she had not been caught in the act... but she was still embarrassed all the same.

"You weren't supposed to pick me up for another hour!" she griped.

"Well," her father explained, "I was in the area, so I decided to drop by early to do some father-daughter bonding. Though, this... sheesh, is this what passes for entertainment these days? What is this, the Prohibition Era?"

"Dad, you don't... you **WOULDN'T** understand!"

"Try me!"

Vanessa opened her mouth to begin explaining, but even she could not figure out how to rationalize racing washing machines as being hip to people her age. She just buried her face in her right hand and told him...

"Just... just take me home."

Vanessa walked past her dad and climbed into Norm the pick-up truck, slamming the door behind her.

"Ow!" Norm reacted emotionlessly. "That should have hurt!"

The evil doctor went around the front and got into the driver's seat. As he closed the door behind him, he saw the sad look on his daughter's face as she stared out her open window, towards the clear one-pane window of the laundromat.

"I've got to cheer her up," Doofenshmirtz thought to himself. "But how?"

Suddenly, Norm spoke up.

"Why don't you take her out for dinner?"

Vanessa perked up upon hearing that, while Doofenshmirtz gasped before beginning to shout at Norm.

"You reading my mind, now? Is that your thing this week?"

"You want to take me out to dinner?" Vanessa interrupted, as she turned to look at her father. "For real?"

"Yes," Doofenshmirtz replied. "You see, I was supposed to go out for dinner at The Dan Marsh, but my date cancelled on me this morning, and the stupid restaurant refuses to let me out of my reservation..."

"The Dan Marsh? I've heard so much about that place! Very exclusive, trendy without going over the line, and so many different kinds of food to taste!"

"Wow," her father gasped in shock. "I never knew you were such a culinary adventurer, Vanessa! I've never seen you so happy!"

Upon hearing that, though, Vanessa frowned. He quickly corrected himself...

"What I meant to say is that I **DID** know you were a culinary adventurer, and I **HAVE** seen you this happy before!"

After hearing that, though, Vanessa was smiling again.

"You don't have to butter me up, Dad. I want to go with you!"

"You do?"

"Yes! You have to let me come! I want this!"

"Oh, I'm so overjoyed!"

He reached over to wrap his arms around Vanessa and hug her. He was delighted. Vanessa, on the other hand...

"Dad..." she growled.

"Too much?" he asked, as he let go and went back to his side of the truck. "Yeah, too much."

* * *

><p>Candace hopped off the bus just in time to see her brothers, along with their father, walk out the front door of the doctor's office.<p>

"**PHINEAS!**" yelled Candace.

"Ah," Lawrence, her father, greeted her. "Candace, what brings you to this neck of the burgs? Your mom told me it was time for your annual check-up as well. But you do know you're too grown up for a pediatrician, right?"

"That's nice, Dad," she said, not paying attention to him, but instead to her brothers. "I need to borrow the boys!"

She grabbed them and pulled them down the sidewalk, leaving their father behind.

"Alright then," he said. "I'll catch you lads and lassie later! Don't forget it's meatloaf-on-the-barbie night!"

Once Candace was at the far end of the strip mall, she finally stopped and turned towards her brothers.

"So what's going on now?" queried Phineas, remembering their brief conversation earlier.

"Like I said, I need your help solving a problem with Jeremy and Stacy!"

"What's their problem?"

"**THEY'RE IN LOVE!**"

Phineas turned to his taller brother, who just shrugged his shoulders in response, then back to Candace.

"Why is that a problem?"

"**THEY'RE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER!**"

"Well, that doesn't make sense! Jeremy likes you, Candace! And Stacy likes... I dunno. We don't follow her love life that much."

"You've gotta help me find them! They're on a date right now and I don't know where they are! I didn't even find out until today! I can't believe they did this behind my back and didn't even have the thought to ask me if it was okay!"

Candace dropped to her knees and she started to cry in agony.

"Why would they do this to me? Have they hated so much all this time and I never realized it?"

"Whoa, **WHOA!**" cut in Phineas, attempting to calm his sister down. "Let's not jump to conclusions."

"Jump to conclusions? This is **WAY BEYOND** jumping to conclusions!"

"Did you even bother to ask them?"

"Of course! But they've both been ignoring my calls and texts all days! I don't think they know that I know what they know they're doing!"

"Maybe Ferb and I should talk to Jeremy. Find out what's going on. He'll talk to us."

"**NO!**" objected Candace, as she got back up on her feet. "If you ask, then he'll know that I know, and then Stacy'll know that I know, and suddenly, there's this circle of everyone knowing, which leads straight to the highway of 'hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back!'"

"Then what are we supposed to do?"

"You do what you normally do! I don't know where they are, so I need you to build me a device that can track cell phones! Once I find out where they are, I'll confront them and get to the bottom of this myself!"

"As intriguing as that sounds, Candace, wouldn't making such a device err on the side of being unethical?"

"This isn't about being morally right, Phineas! My boyfriend and my best friend are now a couple, and I am determined to find out who, what, where, when, and why!"

"Don't forget how!"

"Just work your magic already!" commanded Candace.

"We would, but making something like that would take all day!"

"**I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!**"

"Well, there is one other option we can try! Ferb, I know who we need to call right now!"

* * *

><p>Some unknown amount of time later...<p>

"I'm putting you on speaker," Phineas said before he did so.

He pressed a button, then handed his cell to Candace.

"**ABOUT TIME!**" she screamed. "Phineas and Ferb called you **EIGHT HOURS AGO!**"

"I was at school!" exclaimed Baljeet, who was on the other end of the line.

"It's summer **AND** it's Saturday!"

"Laugh now, but we'll see who's smiling when you don't get into the college of your choice!"

"Whatever! Just tell me it's done!"

"It is! I am transferring it to your phone as we speak."

But before Candace could ask how...

"Done! I just hope your endeavor turns out better than that of the first person I gave this to."

"How did that turn out?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

With that, Candace hung up on Baljeet.

"I don't care!" Candace admitted aloud. "As long as it works... now, let's find Jeremy and Stacy!"

She smirked as she opened the tracking program Baljeet had sent to her, and she entered in Stacy's cell number. 20 seconds later, it had pinpointed her most recent location.

"Time to bust my best friend!"

**To be continued...**


	3. Part Three of Three

**You're Dating Her?, Part 3 (10.10.11)**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

Let's get to it! Here's the third and final part...

**Disclaimer:** The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney.

* * *

><p><em>The Dan Marsh Restaurant, approximately 7:45 pm...<em>

Jeremy and Stacy were in the lobby of the restaurant, waiting to be seated along with several other would-be patrons.

"How'd you manage to score reservations?" Stacy asked Jeremy curiously. "I heard this place's booked for the next year!"

"I know a few people," Jeremy replied.

He then sighed sadly.

"Of course, ever since I made the reservations, I was hoping I'd be here with Candace."

Stacy put a comforting hand on Jeremy's shoulder.

* * *

><p>Candace was biking her way to the restaurant, having gone back and retrieved her bicycle at some earlier point in time. Her brothers were following right behind her, as by luck their bikes happened to be in the back of the station wagon.<p>

"Why are you following me?" she asked in annoyance as she glanced back. "The one time I **DON'T** want to bust you, you want to be around me?"

"We have to make it up to you for all of that waiting!" Phineas said in reply. "Besides, Ferb and I have always wanted to do a hands-on study of misconceptions and misunderstandings, and how they can render perfectly good teenage relationships and friendships battered, bruised, and sometimes damaged beyond repair!"

"**NO!**"

Candace hit the brakes, and her brothers did the same, as all three came to a stop.

"I already have enough to deal with! I don't feel like babysitting you twerps, either! Just... **GO HOME!**"

Candace started pedaling again, and the boys this time stood there, watching her continue down the street.

* * *

><p>"<strong>DAAAAAAD!<strong>"

Despite being taken out to dinner at The Dan Marsh like she always wanted, Vanessa was still whining in dismay as her father turned off the engine and pulled the key out of the ignition.

"I thought we were going to have a normal, albeit expensive, dinner together!"

"We are, Vanessa!"

"Then explain **THIS**! And I don't mean Norm!"

It was revealed that they were sitting inside Norm's truck cabin.

"I can parallel park myself at a 10th-grade level!" Norm declared.

But Heinz knew his daughter was referring to the large, seven-sided mechanical monstrosity that sat in the truck's bed.

"Gimme a break! They wouldn't let me cancel my reservation earlier, so now they're forcing me to use it anyway! So if this dinner doesn't go just right... **WHAM!**"

He slammed his clenched right fist into his open left palm to emphasize the implied impact.

"I'll use the Level-inator to pancake the entire building into the ground! That'll teach them to force me to spend 250 dollars of money I could be spending on other fruitful endeavors!"

"You mean, like, trying to take over the Tri-State Area?"

"That, and paying your mother back for that loan I had to take out that one time. Sheesh! You know, she's worse than one of those money sharks when you're just one second late on a payment..."

"Dad..."

"Alright, alright! This isn't about your mother. This is about you, and me, and **GETTING MY REVENGE**!"

"Dad. Will you **PLEASE**, for once, **NOT** embarrass me? As in **NOT** holding some stupid grudge over their policy?"

"Okay, okay! I'll give them three strikes. The 'not cancelling without a charge' is strike one!"

During the course of their back-and-forth, Heinz and Vanessa had made their way into the restaurant lobby. Heinz approached the hostess with a pleasant smile on his face. But that quickly faded when he saw her name tag. The woman before him was Stella, the same person he had argued with over the phone that morning.

"Oh," he grumbled. "It's you! Well, the last laugh is mine, because I, Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, am here, **HONORING MY RESERVATION!**"

Stella rolled her eyes, then looked down at the guest list for that night. She ran her index finger down the page, finding Doofenshmirtz's reservation near the bottom.

"So... the reservation is for Heinz Doofenshmirtz plus date."

"Date?" Vanessa piped up. "**DAD!**"

"Dad?" Stella narrowed her eyes at Heinz. "You mean you're dating your own daughter? You disgust me!"

"What?" shouted Doofenshmirtz. "No! That's not it at all!"

"Whatever, you weirdo," Stella said as she stepped out and headed into the dining room. "Let's go!"

Vanessa glared at her father.

"Oh, come on, Vanessa! Just because I forgot to call and change the reservation..."

Vanessa then marched off after Stella. Doofenshmirtz mumbled something incoherent, then pulled a notepad out of his inner lab coat page, as well as a pen. It already had one 'X' on it, and he was adding a second.

"Strike two, Dan Marsh!"

He put the items away afterwards and followed Vanessa in. He got a dirty look from Stella as he passed by her as she headed back to her station. He then saw Vanessa chatting with the couple they were sharing a table with... one-half of which Doofenshmirtz thought looked familiar...

"Ohhhh," Vanessa greeted said familiar face with a sly grin on her face. "Never thought I'd see you again."

The person she was talking to... was Jeremy.

"Back at ya!" Jeremy replied, smiling as well. "Name's Jeremy, by the way."

"Jeremy, huh? I'm Vanessa."

She then looked over at Stacy, who was sitting next to Jeremy.

"And this girl is..."

"Oh, where are my manners? This is Stacy, and she's..."

Stacy jumped out of her seat quickly and reached across the table, getting in-between Jeremy and Vanessa.

"I'm his girlfriend! So back off, goth chick!"

"Whoa!" Vanessa took a step back. "Easy! He's not my type. I only know him because..."

"Mr. Doofenshmirtz!" Jeremy cut her off, as he got up and went over to shake the hand of Vanessa's approaching father. "Haven't heard from you in awhile. Given up on guitar lessons?"

"Again, it's Doctor Doofenshmirtz... but never mind! As for guitar lessons, well... I've kinda been busy."

"Well, you still have my number if you want me to drop by for another session!"

"Of course, of course!"

The four took a seat, with the Doofenshmirtzes sitting on the opposite side of the table facing Jeremy and Stacy.

"So," cooed Heinz, "who's this with you? Your date?"

"Dad," Vanessa grumbled.

"It's no big deal," Jeremy tried to keep them calm. "This is Stacy. Stacy, meet Vanessa's father, Mr. Doofenshmirtz!"

Stacy raised an eyebrow at suspicion as she looked at how Dr. D was dressed.

"So you're a pharmacist? You must know my mom!"

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm mistaken for that all the time because of my lab coat! Actually, I'm..."

"Dad!" Vanessa cut him off again. "Ix-nay on the il-evay ientist-scay!"

"What are you talking about? Does it **LOOK** like I speak Mandarin?"

* * *

><p>As Vanessa tried to keep her dad from admitting his outrageous profession, Candace had arrived and was just entering the lobby.<p>

"This is the place Jeremy said he wanted to take me to," Candace remembered. "And... he took Stacy instead? **THE NERVE!**"

She walked in the direction of the seating area, but at the podium, she was stopped by Stella.

"Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes! I mean, no! No, I mean... I did, but my boyfriend gave mine to another girl without me knowing..."

"Yeah, yeah..." Stella said as she turned Candace around and pushed her towards the front door. "Nice try, but you're the fourth girl to try that excuse tonight!"

"**NO!** I'm telling the truth!"

"Tell it to someone who cares!"

Stella removed her hands from Candace's back, then walked back in and closed the doors behind her.

"Now what?" Candace asked herself.

Suddenly, she heard some noise coming from around the corner, in the adjoining alley. She took a peek, and saw four people scrambling off the back of a delivery truck, each pushing a dolly with two or three boxes on it. Candace narrowed her eyes and smiled as she got an idea. She ran down the alley and spotted a fifth person, this one barking orders at the first four.

"Let's go, **LET'S GO!** We're in the midst of a dinner rush, and there's still plenty to cook!"

Candace started to open her mouth, but the man beat her to it.

"**YOU!**"

Candace gulped. She was busted before she could even get her foot in the door.

"**YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AN HOUR AGO!**"

He pulled a name tag out of his pants pocket and threw it to Candace, who leaned forward and caught it.

"And you forgot your uniform, too? If you don't want this to be your **ONLY** night working here, I suggest you be flawless tonight! Now, **GET TO WORK!**"

"Yes, sir!" Candace exclaimed, saluting him.

She ran into the restaurant's back door, passing by the ever-growing stacks of boxes from the truck, now in the kitchen. Two seconds later, the flaps of a box of green peppers popped open. A few of the vegetables seemingly jumped out, followed by none other than...

**PER-RYYYYYYYYYYYYY!**

...who landed on his hind feet on the ground. He then pulled out his fedora from the box, then ran off, to the opposite side of the kitchen that Candace had gone towards.

* * *

><p>Back in the dining room...<p>

"I'm spending a quarter grand on **THIS**?" questioned Doofenshmirtz.

On the table before Jeremy, Stacy, Vanessa, and Dr. D were an assortment of small dishes: a prawn cocktail with eight shrimp in it, four small saucers of clam chowder, four small saucers of tomato soup, and a dinner plate half-covered with antipasto.

"Strangely," Jeremy looked at the food before them apprehensively, "I agree with you."

"If I wanted to eat like a bird," Stacy commented, "I would've stayed at home."

But not everyone in the party seemed disappointed.

"It's this small on purpose," Vanessa explained. "This **IS** a 20-course meal, after all. Consider this as the second round of appetizers."

"Well," grumbled her father, "the main course better be next, because I starved myself all day for this!"

"Dad, this isn't an all-you-can-eat buffet! This dinner is more about exploring your palate, not filling your stomach!"

Vanessa then turned towards the cocktail glass, but to her surprise, all of the shrimps were gone! But she quickly found them, or at least what was left of them, on Stacy's plate and sticking out of her mouth. Seeing Vanessa glaring at her, Stacy used her tongue to shift the shrimp tails back and forth on either side of her closed mouth.

"Mmmmm... shrimpy!"

* * *

><p>Candace emerged from the kitchen, dressed in a waiter's uniform that consisted of: a low-cut, black V-neck sweater vest on top of a short sleeve oxford shirt, navy blue slacks, and a pair of all-black shoes. Also, to help with her disguise, she rolled up the back of her hair - all the way up to her shoulders - and had attached a black, pencil-thin mustache to her face. Holding a glass pitcher three-fourths full of water, she scanned the dining area with her eyes as she made her way around.<p>

"Alright," she told herself, "where are you?"

"Waiter!" a man shouted.

She stopped and saw an adult male waving at her with one hand and holding up his near-empty glass in his other. She walked over and began to pour water into his glass. She looked up from what she was doing, and her face froze.

That was because she had two familiar faces sitting a few tables away. Jeremy and Stacy!

"A-**HA!**"

But she noticed that the two were not talking to each other. Stacy, in fact, seemed to be having some sort of verbal disagreement with another person, apparently across from her at the table. Candace could not see whom the other party was. She sidestepped to her right once, than twice. She then saw the two people Jeremy and Stacy were sharing their table with. She did not know whom the adult male of the pair was, but she did recognize the younger brunette next to her - who was the person Stacy was having her spat with.

"Vanessa? What is **SHE** doing here?"

"Uh... waiter?"

Candace did not hear the cry of the customer she was serving, as she had poured enough water into his glass that it was now overflowing, because she was trying to read lips. Stacy's and Vanessa's, that is. Candace's eyes darted back and forth between the two girls, in tune with each time one closed her mouth and the other opened hers.

"What are they saying?"

"Waiter?"

"Shhhh!" Candace waved her hand at the man next to her. "Trying to read lips here!"

Suddenly, Jeremy stood up, ending the debate between the two girls as he put a reassuring hand on each of their shoulders. Naturally, that was one signal Candace definitely could decipher.

"They're fighting over Jeremy! Which means... gasp... Jeremy's not only two-timing me, he's **THREE-TIMING** me!"

"**WAITER!**"

Candace stopped pouring and walked away from the table, without as so much as looking at what she had just done. Instead, she was focused on what she was going to do.

"There's gotta be some rational explanation," Candace told herself. "Just play it cool, Candace. Stay in character. Coax them into blabbing the truth."

But her inner Candace was yelling...

"**KILL THEM ALL! AH HA HA, AH HA HA HA HA!**"

Candace paused for a second, doing a double-take.

"Whoa! I really have to stop watching those villain romance movies."

She continued on towards the table, reaching the table just in time to hear Vanessa and Stacy come to a peaceful resolution...

"So we'll agree to disagree, then."

"Yeah. The debate over whether Kojo Sampson's hair is real or not will be settled some other day."

...or did she hear?

"Ladies, ladies," Candace said, in her manliest sounding voice, before pointing to Jeremy. "A fine establishment such as this is not the place to fight over such a handsome young gentleman."

"What?" deadpanned Vanessa, both confused and annoyed at the accusation.

"Or, even better... why fight over a guy who's clearly already taken?"

"What are you talking about?" queried Stacy. "And how do you know Jeremy's status... Adrian?"

Candace had a perplexed look, but then she remembered that Adrian was the name on the tag she was wearing on her vest.

"Have we met?" asked Jeremy, as he eyed 'Adrian' up and down.

Candace began to panic. Had he seen through her disguise? Or had she moved too fast and had blown her cover as a result? Regardless, she had to divert their attention before it was too late.

So she poured the last of the water in the pitcher she was holding into Vanessa's lap. Vanessa quickly stood up to get it off before it soaked through the napkin she had placed there beforehand and into her clothes.

"What the... what's wrong with you?"

Candace kept in character as she nervously responded, "First... day?"

Vanessa stomped off, heading for the restroom. Candace breathed a sigh of relief, thinking she had saved herself. But when she turned towards Jeremy, he was still looking suspiciously at her. As now was Stacy. Oddly enough, so was the fourth member of the dining party, Doctor Doofenshmirtz... but for an entirely different reason.

"Maybe it's just the sirloin talking," he said aloud as he put a piece of steak in his mouth, "but I'm loving this impromptu Dinner Theater!"

Unsure of what to do next, but uncomfortable with all of the people staring at her, Candace put the empty pitcher down on the table and then sprinted off.

* * *

><p>Candace pushed the door into the women's restroom inwards. Once inside, she instantly spotted Vanessa off to her left, in the process of trying to wipe the water off of and dry off of her leather coat. Candace took her time walking over to Vanessa, afraid she would be upset over the whole incident. But Vanessa continued to work on her coat, even as Candace stopped an elbow's length away.<p>

"I'm sorry," Candace apologized.

"Meh," Vanessa shrugged her shoulders without looking up. "It's just water, Candace."

"Yeah," Candace sheepishly laughed it off. "It's just wa- **WHAT?**"

Vanessa quickly ripped Candace's fake mustache off of her face, and the redhead yelped in pain.

"**YOWCH!**"

Vanessa wrapped the item in one of her wet paper towels and placed it on the sink counter. Candace rubbed at the red mark left behind just under her nose.

"How did you know it was me?"

"It doesn't take a genius to see through that."

Candace gasped. "I can't believe it! That's incredible! You must be, like, a spy!"

Vanessa froze at hearing the word 'spy.' Candace continued.

"Oh, who am I kidding? You? A teenage girl like me, a spy? That sounds just like something right out of a TV show!"

"Yeah," Vanessa laughed nervously, "out of a TV show..."

Candace sighed as she moved over to Vanessa's right to stare into the mirror.

"So... you gonna tell me what's going on, or are you gonna make me figure it out?"

The redhead took a deep breath to calm her nerves, then explained everything that had happened in the past 12 hours.

"That's it?" questioned Vanessa once Candace had finished.

"'That's it?' What do you mean, 'That's it?'"

"Well... Jeremy and Stacy, from what I've learned the past half hour, seem nice enough. People like that don't start dating right out of the blue! If you ask me, they weren't even acting like they were into each other! There has to be something else, some other reason that they're hanging with one another, without you! Perhaps it's because of you? Maybe you should, y'know, ask them what's up? Instead of acting like the world will blow up because they're together?"

Candace thought about it for a minute, then marched out of the restroom. She started heading back to the table, but then, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Jeremy and Stacy near the front door, obviously having ended their dinner early. Candace raced after them. On the sidewalk, she shouted after the pair.

"**JEREMY! STACY!**"

Upon hearing their names, they stopped, then turned around to face Candace. The redhead began begging for them to break up.

"Please! This isn't right! Stacy, you're my best friend! Why would you do this behind my back? And Jeremy, my Jeremy... why didn't you have the decency to tell me you wanted to break up?"

"Um..." they both hesitated to agree.

"Stacy! I promised I'd spend more time with you, and I intend to keep my end of the deal, no matter what! And Jeremy, I promise... I promise... actually, I don't know why you're mad at me."

"How could you not know?" Stacy questioned. "The last few days you've tried to scare off any girl that's even thought of looking at Jeremy."

"It's getting kind of creepy," uncomfortably admitted Jeremy. "Are you really that paranoid that I'll dump you the second I'll find someone prettier than you?"

"It didn't stop you from going out with Stacy!" Candace pointed out.

"We were only pretend dating," replied Stacy. "We wanted to see how you'd react, as well as see you react to how we'd react. I... think?"

"What Stacy's trying to say," Jeremy cut in as he stepped forward, "is that we want you to stop worrying about what might happen and just focus on what's going on."

"Yeah! We want things to go back to the way they were! You and me! You and Jeremy! And you, me, and Jeremy, once in awhile!"

"And I swear I'll never leave you for a prettier girl, Candace... because there's no one in the world more beautiful than you."

Candace was moved by their words, and she was finally coming to the realization of how wrong she had been acting the past few days. She motioned both of them to come forward so she could hug them.

"I'm sorry! I... I realize now that that I was wrong! Can you guys ever forgive me?"

"Of course!" Jeremy told her.

"That's what best buds do!" Stacy exclaimed.

The three continued to hug for several minutes. While still in the hug, they did not see or hear Doctor Doofenshmirtz march out of the front door of the restaurant in anger, heading for the parking deck.

"Serving me vanilla ice cream **WITHOUT** sprinkles?" he grumbled. "**THAT'S STRIKE THREE!**"

He pulled out his remote control for the Level-inator and pressed the activation button on it. Less than a second later, he heard... an explosion?

"What? That's not supposed to happen!"

He ran to the deck, and gasped when he saw the remains of the Level-inator scattered around Norm - what was left of him after the explosion, that was.

"That's gonna leave a mark!" noted Norm.

"What happened?" Doofenshmirtz asked as he saw an orange liquid mixed in with the gasoline and motor oil coming out of the wreckage.

He squatted down and dipped his finger into the orange part of the mixture, then placed it into his mouth.

"Whoa," he said as he fanned his mouth. "Is... is that buffalo sauce? You mean he went to Buffalo and back in half a day? How can that be the farthest place in the U.S. from here?"

Perry then appeared out of nowhere, jumping up and slapping an oval-shaped bumper decal on his stomach. Perry then ran off without saying a word.

"What the..."

He looked down and tried to read it.

"'Buffalo Rocks!' What? You don't know that for sure! There was no way you could've been there long enough to prove it, and you're making me flaunt it on my shirt, like I mean it! You're not allowed to control my thoughts! **CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!**"

* * *

><p>Back with the trio...<p>

Candace sniffled with glee. "I... I love you guys!"

"And we love you," Jeremy and Stacy said in unison.

**The End**

**Author's Notes:**  
>And that ends another P&amp;F mini-series! I think it wasn't bad for a first attempt at a Candace-centric story. I might do another one soon, if I can think of a good idea to use.<p>

If you liked the story, a review would be much appreciated! Thanks!


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